Welcome, everyone, to the inaugural episode of SKILLSET Bottom Shelf!
I’m your host, Skillset Editor Ben Tirpak, and for this very first dive into the wild world of budget booze. I am absolutely thrilled to be joined by some of the coolest people I know. A panel of discerning palates, seasoned veterans, and, let’s be honest, some of the most experienced drinkers out there. Thank you all for watching what is sure to be an unforgettable, or perhaps, easily forgotten, experience.
99 Bananas
For our debut installment of this series, we had a very important, earnest debate about what liquid should kick off the show. After much deliberation, a slight error in judgment, and possibly a momentary lapse of sanity, we arrived at a truly baffling decision: the notorious 99 Bananas liqueur. Yes, that yellow-labeled, suspiciously flavored spirit that often haunts the highest shelves of the liquor store. Or, in our case, the bottom shelf. I genuinely don’t know how we collectively arrived at this decision, but we are committed now, and there’s no turning back.
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Before we pop the cap on this tropical abomination, a critical public service announcement:
Please remember that what follows is purely for entertainment purposes only. We are professionals—sort of—and we encourage every single one of you to drink responsibly!
The Setup
Now, let’s break down our review into the critical categories that will define the quality—or lack thereof—of this magnificent beverage. We will meticulously assess:
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- Smell: What olfactory horrors await us? Is it a fresh, sweet banana like it came straight from a tree, or is it more like the remnants of a gas station fruit candy? We’ll find out.
- Taste: The moment of truth. Beyond the initial burn, what are we actually tasting? Can the banana flavor survive the 99-proof blast, or is this just a pure sugar-and-alcohol handshake?
- Value or Price of the Booze: Does the price justify the suffering? Does the sheer volume of alcohol make it a great value, or would that money be better spent on a slightly less painful life decision?
- Final Thoughts: The summary judgment. The ultimate “Would you rather” scenario: Would we drink this again, or is this destined for the darkest recesses of the liquor cabinet?
We hope you have enjoyed this episode of Bottom Shelf, the 99 Bananas edition. If you have any future suggestions for the Athlon Outdoors Editorial staff, be sure to shoot us an email! Now, let the tasting begin!
