Everyone has been there—you are in a hurry for some quick grub after a long day of earning Uncle Sam’s Dough. As you push aside the week-old bologna and the leftover sushi that is starting to smell off, you realize you have some pantry items that might be able to be combined to make something edible.
I have spent much time experimenting with these sorts of “found-food” recipes myself, and I have curated a collection of them that are so quick and easy that even Hesher hopped up on jenkem could manage to make them taste great and look sophisticated, even on a Styrofoam plate.
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Ramen Noodle Recipes
This month, we will delve into the world of ramen noodles in all of their goodness. In fact, ramen noodle restaurants are even a trend these days. The reason for this is that, well, who in the hell doesn’t love a steaming-hot bowl of noodles and broth? The reason for these noodles’ longtime popularity (they have existed for at least three centuries) is obvious: After a few minutes spent scrounging under the couch cushions for some change, you can go buy a week’s worth of Maruchan from the grocery store.
Now, I could go into how these restaurants make their noodles from scratch, simmer their broth for hours, and so on, but who has time for that shit? Instead, I’m going to show you how to take those rock-hard, store-bought packages of crunchy noodles and turn them into something your girl or man would be proud of you for making. In fact, most of the following ingredients can be found in almost anyone’s pantry or fridge. Even the poorest of bachelors out there likely have a majority of these lying around somewhere. So, without further ado, here is the recipe list:
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The Ingredients
1 package store-bought ramen noodles
1 cup chicken or beef stock (or water if you don’t have these)
1 egg (whisked or hard-boiled)
1 cup frozen or fresh veggies of your choice (peas, carrots, mushrooms, peppers, etc.)
1 ounce diced Spam (fried to bring out the flavor)
1 ounce of any leftover meat you have in the fridge (chicken or steak would work well)
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon fish sauce (if you’re feeling extra froggy)
1 tablespoon sweet-and-sour sauce
1 tablespoon chili sauce or Sriracha sauce for heat
1 tablespoon miso paste (if you happen to have some from that one time you made miso soup)
1 tablespoon chopped scallions (diced white onions if you prefer)
1 tablespoon crushed peanuts or peanut butter
1 tablespoon chopped nori (dried seaweed)
The Instructions
In a microwave-safe bowl, heat the stock for 2-4 minutes or until boiling, depending upon how crappy your microwave is. Next, place your ramen noodles in a bowl, pour the stock over them, and let them steep for 5 minutes.
While the noodles are steeping, crack your egg and whisk it in a bowl. Pour the mixture over the boiling liquid and stir until smooth. If you want, you can skip this part and add an already-boiled egg at the end. Soft boil it if you want to be a little fancier.
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After the noodles and egg have cooked through, you can add your accompaniments(toppings, dummy). Then add your fresh veggies or frozen ones that you’ve already heated in the microwave for a few minutes, and add your Spam or leftover meat from the fridge. (Heat it in a pan for more flavor).
Next, add any sauces that appeal to you. I personally like a little soy sauce, Sriracha, and a dash of fish sauce to bring the funk. Use miso if that’s your thing (not mine).
Top it all off at the end with some scallions (white onions if you prefer), crushed up peanuts (a scoop of peanut butter will work here in a pinch), and chopped dried seaweed for texture and a ton more flavor. And … voila! Now you have a spruced-up version of those 50-cent packaged gluten bombs, and it took no time at all. Enjoy, suckas!
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