Just about everything we do now has changed from the way we used to do things, including dating. Increasingly, people are using online dating applications to chat, get to know each other, and enter serious relationships. Though there have been success stories from online dating experiences, there is another side that has ended relationships in much darker and devious ways. You can protect yourself from dating scams and potential danger by making smart decisions and staying vigilant.
Online Dating Apps and Popularity
Online dating actually began in the 1990’s with the website Match.com. As the internet progressed, social media developed, and more and more households gained internet access, online dating became more prevalent. However, with the increase of the ability to talk to someone without interacting with them in person, also came more room for crime, including financial scams, rape, kidnapping, and even murder.
For these reasons, if you use a dating app, you need to be aware of the risks. What is the best way to identify risk? It’s too difficult to detect potential dangers.
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Online Dating Scams
Some of the biggest dating scams out there are financially motivated. The current percentage of people who are scammed out of money by a perpetrator on a dating site ranges from 30 to 50%. That means about 1 in 5 people are taken advantage of in this manner.
How can you tell if you are chatting with a scammer?
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-You haven’t known them very long, and they ask you for money.
-They constantly need money to be “saved” from some terrible fate.
-They ask you for money in the form of gift cards or want your actual bank information.
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-The info on their profile is vague or seems too good to be true.
-They look for sympathy and empathy right off the bat.
-Your interests align a little too closely.
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Catfishing
Each of these points is a potential red flag, especially the last point. There could be a logical explanation, but it would still require more research on that person. But as for the other points, if anyone on a dating app asks you for cash or brings up money immediately, avoid that profile and that person at all costs.
Catfishing refers to a few different tactics criminals may use. Catfishing, by definition, means deceiving someone online in the form of a relationship. This could be an individual trying to extract money from as many people as possible by pretending to be romantically interested in them. It could also mean setting up a profile and talking to someone with even darker intentions, such as kidnapping, rape, or worse.
Should you report the profile? You certainly can visit the website itself so that the dating application administrators are aware of potential scammers. This may help others from encountering this person as well. It is also a good idea to report any incidents to the relevant law enforcement authorities. If you are reporting the person because of a financial scam, the authorities may or may not be able to investigate it. However, if you are reporting an incident where an assault occurred, kidnapping, or any other type of endangerment, law enforcement should be able to conduct an investigation.
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Dating Danger
Going on a date is always a gamble. Whether you are set up on a blind date, you just met someone, or you are taking it to the next level with someone you already know, you are still taking a chance on the unknown.
No matter the date, the one thing to keep in mind is that you are prioritizing your safety. Women are often cautioned about the risks of getting into a car with a stranger, but it should be noted that many female perpetrators exist as well.
Safety should be at the forefront of your mind when you’re on a date, especially the first date with that individual.
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A few ways to remain safe include:
-Do not meet anywhere that is private or secluded on a first date. It is best to meet in a public place where others are present.
-Do not give out too much information until you know the person well. It is best that the individual does not know where you live or any other personal information until you know you can trust them.
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-If any part of the date raises red flags, stop and consider what your gut is telling you. Don’t ignore those feelings; you will only regret it later.
If you are still in the phase of only interacting with the person online, it is best to avoid giving out any personal information, especially financial information.
Reality Stories
There are numerous stories of people being scammed or hurt by catfishing predators. These predators thrive on people’s vulnerability and prey on those who are looking for a real human connection.
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One of the most horrific results of a dating app experience gone wrong was the case known as the Barking Murders. These were committed by a serial killer in London who preyed on young men through online dating sites. When he would finally meet them, we would drug them or offer them drugs as a way to lure them and would kill them. The killer would go so far as to plant fake suicide notes and stage crime scenes so that it appeared the victims had overdosed or taken their own lives. The perpetrator had met each man online and had groomed them and then murdered them. The four victims he murdered were later brought to justice.
Other cases have involved victims of dating scams in which the relationship moves too quickly, and within days, the individuals are considered to be in a serious relationship. From there, the relationship moves to the perpetrator becoming controlling or demanding large sums of cash.
There is the story of Laura Kowal, who was in her late 50s when she decided she was ready to date again. She fell for a man who was alleged to be a widower, and the relationship ignited quickly. However, Laura would fall victim to a scam of over 1 million dollars and would lose her life.
These stories reveal the seriousness and prevalence of online romantic scams. These types of cases have become so prevalent that some law enforcement agencies have specialized investigative units dedicated to romantic scams or catfishing.
Avoiding Danger While Online Dating
No matter the core motive of a catfisher, they will target people who appear vulnerable and empathetic. These predators prey on individuals’ feelings and try to extract empathy through lies and extortion in various ways.
The best way to protect yourself from these types of scams is to pay attention to any piece of information that does not sound right, does not fit, or gives you that gut feeling that something may be wrong. Keep up with recent catfishing trends and read articles about the latest criminal trends. By being informed, you can help protect yourself from potential trouble.
You can do your own research and look into someone who may not seem legitimate. If you encounter anything criminal or that appears to be criminal, report it to the dating site or app and to the authorities. You never know what you may have avoided or how you helped someone else avoid being victimized by a catfishing scam simply by paying attention to red flags, your gut feeling, and saying something about it.
