Outside issues of gender, abortion, and religion, the role of government in the lives of Americans is likely the most controversial aspect of our culture. Personally, I want the government to be as small and invisible as possible. I used to work for Uncle Sam myself. I don’t trust that guy, like at all. Beyond maintaining the roads and making dead terrorists, I’d sooner take care of most everything else myself.
The Government is Not Your Friend
The government has no competition. That’s why the DMV is so legendarily miserable no matter where you live. You can’t take your business elsewhere. Without the pressure of capitalism driving an organization toward excellence, you get apathy, lousy service, and predictably poor results.
The other major gripe I have with the government is that lawyers ultimately control it. There’s a diverse range of professions represented in the US Congress, and a particularly interesting non-lawyer is currently in the White House. However, the vast majority of the policymakers in DC have indeed graduated from law school.
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I have a brother who is a lawyer, as well as many great attorney friends. However, the profession tends to make you risk-averse. A righteous fear of getting sued tempers what might otherwise be a drive for something truly spectacular. That lamentable reality pervades most aspects of modern American life.
Advice From Uncle Sam
The US Government does technically have our best interest at heart, in so far as they want us to stay healthy enough to continue paying our taxes. They’d likely sell our kidneys on eBay if there were more money in it. However, the government does at least pay lip service to keeping us all alive, fit, and healthy.
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Modern life is dangerous. Rampaging bears are not the ubiquitous concern as was perhaps once the case. However, stuff like wildfires, hurricanes, floods, and ice storms are perennial crowd pleasers. Mother Nature is not your friend or your benefactor. She is a cold-hearted mass murderer who would just as soon wipe us all out as keep us warm and comfortable.
In keeping with that mantra, the Department of Homeland Security sponsors Ready.gov. There is a huge billboard located on a highway a few miles from where I live, advertising it. With this as impetus, I retired to my laptop to see what all the fuss was about.
Details
The site opens with an absolutely adorable, little, gender-neutral, and appropriately ambiguous human child scampering about, holding books over her head. The supporting section addresses security concerns for children returning to school. Clicking on this tab takes you to instructions on how to craft a survival contingency plan tailored for children, teenagers, families, and educators. You are encouraged to make this into a game. A cute little penguin entreats you to“Prepare with Pedro!” Pedro stars in a variety of kid-centric disaster preparedness activity books.
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If it sounds like I am making fun of this, I’m not. Storms and the like are terrifying for children. Getting them acclimated via a colorful, happy-looking cartoon penguin wearing a hard hat sounds like a fine idea to me.
Guidance is segregated into hurricanes, flooding, thunderstorms, severe weather, power outages, emergency alerts, planning, survival kits, and directions to the FEMA mobile app. The layout gets updated with the most pertinent seasonal threats. All the major stuff is covered.
Kinetic Activities
First, the 400-pound gorilla in the room. There is the expected dearth of advice on the subject of firearms. The 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution enshrines the right to keep and bear arms into our foundational rights, alongside the right to protest, complain about our government, and worship as we please.
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If I were tasked with creating Ready.gov, the first page would be a concise treatise on whether 5.56 or 7.62 would be the better choice for your particular location and threat environment. I would also include a tab where you could buy government-surplus guns and ammunition at bargain basement prices. However, I was not assigned to work on Ready.gov. As a result, the site says basically nothing about firearms. No great shock there.
Mass Shootings
What the site does discuss is how to respond to “Attacks in Crowded and Public Spaces.” Tragically, that is an all-too-common problem in modern society. In fact, as I sat down to type these words, I was greeted with a banner headline about yet another loser psychopath who unlimbered a firearm on a school. Thankfully, this one died in the attempt.
The Ready.gov treatment is well-reasoned and nicely arranged. For those who might not have given the subject much thought, it should be adequate to spark discussion and precipitate a little forethought. Guidance is broken down into Before, During, and After.
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Translated into our world, prior preparation means remaining in Condition Yellow all the time. Be aware of your surroundings, watch for suspicious cues, have an exit plan, and learn basic lifesaving skills. During the event, we are directed to Run, Hide, and Fight…in that order.
This, I might take issue with. I carry a gun whenever I am not asleep or showering. The Army taught me how to use it. Decades immersed in this world made me comfortable. I like to think I’d lean more toward Fight, Run, Hide, and then only if I was out of ammunition. However, here’s Uncle Sam’s guidance on offensive action in the face of a violent attacker:
Tactics
Fight only as a last resort. When you can’t run or cover, attempt to disrupt the attack or disable the attacker.
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Be aggressive and commit to your actions.
Recruit others to ambush the attacker with makeshift weapons such as chairs, fire extinguishers, scissors, books, etc.
Be prepared to cause severe or lethal injury to the attacker.
In the absence of a proper weapon, that is likely sound advice.
This section concludes with an admonition to remain calm and includes appropriate guidance on how to respond to Law Enforcement Officers who may not be at their best themselves. Dedicated information sheets and instructional videos are offered in support. Overall, if you’re not packing heat, that all makes sense.
Survival Kits
Here’s what the government suggests for a basic survival kit:
Water (one gallon per person per day for several days, for drinking and sanitation)
Food (at least a several-day supply of non-perishable food)
Battery-powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert
Flashlight
First aid kit
Extra batteries
Whistle (to signal for help)
Dust mask (to help filter contaminated air)
Plastic sheeting, scissors, and duct tape (to shelter in place)
Moist towelettes, garbage bags, and plastic ties (for personal sanitation)
Wrench or pliers (to turn off utilities)
Manual can opener (for food)
Local maps
Cell phone with chargers and a backup battery
Mindset
That all seems reasonable. There is further guidance on water management in a crisis. The site suggests that you refrain from rationing water. You drink what you need and then seek out more as the situation demands. There are basic instructions on how to boil and distil water from questionable sources. Ready.gov also explains how to sterilize water using bleach.
Chlorine bleach is some of the handiest, most versatile stuff in your survival loadout. Here’s the government guidance as regards chlorinating water from sketchy sources:
“You can use household liquid bleach to kill microorganisms. Use only regular household liquid bleach that contains 5.25% to 6.0% sodium hypochlorite. Avoid using scented bleaches, color-safe bleaches, or bleaches containing added cleaners.
“Add 1/8 teaspoon of bleach per gallon of water, stir, and let stand for 30 minutes. The water should have a slight bleach odor. If it doesn’t, then repeat the dosage and let it stand another 15 minutes. If it still does not smell of chlorine, discard it and find another source of water.”
Being Prepared
There’s some solid guidance regarding food as well:
Ready-to-eat canned meats, fruits, vegetables, and a can opener
Protein or fruit bars
Dry cereal or granola
Peanut butter
Dried fruit
Canned juices
Non-perishable pasteurized milk
High-energy foods
Food for infants
Comfort/stress foods
You’ll note that these suggested foods typically sport a decent shelf life. Food for infants and non-perishable milk will need to be rotated to stay fresh, but the rest of the items will last a long time. Personally, I’m a big fan of Mountain House freeze-dried foods. If stored in a cool, dry place, you can expect a 25-year shelf life. The food actually tastes good if properly prepared as well. It comes in stackable cans that aren’t terribly expensive. Make it a standard part of your Christmas gift regimen, and your family will be set after a few years.
Weapons—What the Government Won’t Tell You
None of this is on the website, but you’ll need to be able to defend yourself properly. That starts with a decent field knife. The details honestly don’t matter all that much. I keep a couple of those GI aviation survival knives handy—the sort with the leather sheath that includes a sharpening stone. These blades are tough enough to use for chopping yet retain a nice edge.
Canik pistols are incredibly popular these days. Century Arms imports them. They come in all shapes and sizes and represent a superb value. It’s not a great financial burden to pick up one of these inexpensive guns, secure it against inquisitive little fingers, and add it to your survival gear.
Likewise, a bargain basement AR-15 pistol can be found online for less than $350 these days. You’ll need an optic or some iron sights as well as a few magazines, but the economic outlay is not bad. Likewise, secure this thing safely, and it can offer peace of mind when life goes all pear-shaped. You don’t need to be John Rambo; you need to be pricklier than your competition.
Ruminations
Ready.gov is actually a great resource, particularly for the layman who might not spend much time in this space. What seems obvious to us does not always seem obvious to our countrymen. Natural disasters and stupid people behaving stupidly conspire to make modern life fairly dangerous. A little planning and forethought can make all the difference in the world. Ready.gov is Uncle Sam’s resource to help you get there.
